sunday

hati ku resah gelisah. im tired already after along day. missing someone which is not mine anymore. feel happy and enjoy with the guys today. deep inside is feeling sad. well thats my problem i guess. i hardly express my sad feeling to anyone. i only express the happy part. The last time i cried infront of people telling my sad feeling deep story was way ages. The person once my love one. well i almost cried infront of my two bestfriend but i don't have the courage to cry infront of them. they know im sad but its so hard for me to let it go crying infront of people. well i used to be happy when people around me. I always put my smile even when my heart is sad. I always tot that people don't need to listen to my sad story, cuz i think they only want happy. and i noe in this world im not the only one have problem and sad story. all human do have their own problem. thats why i try to be happy to all people all the time cuz i tot its wrong to share my sad story. thats the 1st time i have the courage to tell real sad story to my two bestfriend i guess. and now its my second time writing on this blog about my sad feelin. im lonely and im tired. wishing that person was here. well i really don't know what the right things to say or do now. i lost the best person in my life. who care for me alot and love me alot. but went away.

im feelin like a stupid shit right now. i hope that one day she will be happy again. i feeling like screaming out loud and cry. now nda dapat pasal ada urg tidur.

sesungguh nya allah maha mengetahui. subahanallah kenapa ku buat terlalu banyak bersalah sehingga orang terluka. bodoh sungguh.

hmmm... i went to pantai muara with my group and had bbq there and sing alot of cover and most of the cover made me sad bcoz of lyric nya.. sakit hantap but well buduh ku sendiri jua.. well lapas atu i play golf d rba. awal2 nyaman my swing and ball naik saja all the time until sad mood strike me again and all my ball start nda menantu sampai kan kana kepala urang sebalah.. urg tuha lagi tu. sekali my hand start blister balik. and my hits semua nda lurus my hand my position my kaki and my mind. hilang focus habis. but still i put smile infront of my friends cuz they dont know deep inside me im sad.. well i noe my friends pun sad jua sal hal dorg i noe hal dorg pulang they told me abit. well now im really weak. i tell my story here. i let go my ego here. i dont noe what to say lagi. my brain weak now. i wanna go sleep and sleep saja.

hope that that person be happy soon. i miss her so bad i wanna go cry before i go to sleep.
im a dumb head.