What you want to be? Do it

monday blues

2012-01-30T13:24:00.000-08:00

where do i start? hmmm ok. yesterday morning i chat with the girl that i love for along time it was fun alot of fantasy, and i love it. it was great to chat with her even its for awhile. i miss her and rasa rindu makin membara everyday. we talk we do something that she love and i love so well den she when to sleep and i stay up because i really miss her and only her in my mind at that time. and i was thinking is she feel what i feel? hmmmm. i dont know lah. atless i got the chance to chat with her. walaupun i noe she not mine anymore. i wish that i could turn back time. do it properly. hmm balik2 jua ah fikir kan catu.. but yea i feel love and sayang and rindu. ya allah im going crazy again. even masa ia tidur aku keep on texting her inda beranti walaupun ia nda mereply. thats crazy right? mcm ckp sendiri.. haha. so crazy that i visualize i died alone. no one else with me. no kids no wife. hahaha im crazy. and then lapas atu i try to sleep lah and batah lah kn bawa tidur. sudah mata hari naik baru tah tetidur sekajap sekali tebangun and tarus rindu kan ia... my mind keep on asking ada kah dia juga merindui aku dalam tidur nya. sekali i try to sleep after few hour thinking about her and den i went to sleep again in the afternoon until 3 pm sal my dad bangun kn tuk main bola.

she text me masa atu but i reply batah sal baru bangun. rasa besalah jua lah. den den her mood turn not good and i wonder tia is it because of me? sal kan everytime after chat kn malam2 lapas putus lah. i always text her jua lah walaupun ia tidur. i ask her alot of question den kan apa yang i said lapas ia tidur has been ignore until now. o well i deserve that pulang. and i wonder lapas chat kan sampai menyubuh. sekali esk she like different again. and then mcm malam baru tia ia kn cari aku. selalunya like after bejalan sama si jahanam or kan tidur or lapas jln2 or i dont really know lah. i feel like kena cari masa ia nada kawan saja. hmmm thats how her feel jua dulu sal i did that kind of thing dulu and i did not realize it actually. i feel guilty now thats why i just let it be cuz i deserve that kind of treatment from her. walaupun its hurt but now i feel how she felt when i was and asshole dulu tu her and i was stupid and dumb head and fucking idiot.

and i feel so sad tdi jua sal ia ckp ia moody and she said pasal masalah nya. and i noe ia share to si jahanam atu jua ia punya problem not me. i feel so jelos and hurt and this is how she feel dulu so. padas rasa nya kena kana kan balik. mcm lagu c jt what goes around comes around. nya bini2 yg ku cinta karma. sal dulu i dont wanna belive in karma. o well again i deserve it. buduh ku sendiri. but i wanna be that guy yg she tells her problem. i wanna be that guy yg she share everything with. myb im a failer dulu i never been that guy. i wanna be that guy now. im sorry and i noe its to late already. even ia punya facebook ckp she will never turn back not even kalip mata. something like that but yea. hmmmm i wanna be that guy that everytime she need someone ill be there for her. i wanna be there for her from her on out. i noe dulu i never been like that jua because im stupid and i dont really know how love actually works. i need to learn more but well its to late to get her back i guess.. and tadi i wanna pajal her to share it with me and its really wrong to pajal her because ia nda suka org memajal that why im so sad. how can i prove to her that i wanna be there for her. so aku menyamal saja mcm kanak2 menyamal i go saja play football eventot i feel so wrong and worry and miss her so badly. but in the end well i guess she share it with someone else i guess,, hmmmm

sekali i play football d mahawangsa sekolah rendah d lambak kiri dakat milimewah sama masjid sana. lawan sama family team. my family lawan my second cuzen punya family team. we lost. i had fun a few slide tackle and few stud on the leg of the opponent and few body smash. and i still love my cross like david beckham perasan sekajap but yea lawa mcm c beckham cross arah c ronaldo dari half padang sekali ronaldo score. hahaha.. check ia d youtube ada tu. banar2 kn sama tapi saja nda goal. sal my cuzen cawi hahahahaha... i play defend and midfield and winger tukar2 hahaha.. lalah hantap and pasal slide tackle iatah buat my leg sebalah kiri luka basar. setukin pindik.. haha but puas hati meliat urg terabang lol.. but banar nya bula wah tu sasak ku reffere ani nda pandai ref wuuu cawi. den den tepijak kaki urg saja.. hahaha sorry but i mean few of the antak sal kamu buyuk ckp family but kamu bawa urg luar. hahaha sak kali kamu wuuu. hahaha and den kn lapas game ampus datang and alot paluh and bebau masam. just like my love always said im so masam. den kn i go straight to mentiri ada kerja sama kawan

odw kesana. i saw this one young boy age around between 8 to 12 i guess so kesian meliat ia bejalan d highway sorang2 ketakutan mcm kelaparan lagi pigang2 pelastic mcm tromatize lah gila. sayu wah ku tarus meliat subahanallah. mcm apa kah. d brunei ada sudah urg mcm ani. im so sad. gila wah den i was thinking about the wasiat that my dad and my dad best friends bagi the other night that they want me to carry there legacy to make brunei and the rakyat better place and better living style. disturbute wealth and help develop brunei. hmmm. i feel so not ready but insyallah i wish to help alot of people in the future. and carry on my dad and his bestfriend dreams yg balum kesampaian. hmmm. sekali den like after that kan i was like sedih meliat sudah mcm mana usulnya brunei in the future aduh ma... sakit ni nanti bila nda berubah. haiya. dulu i dont wanna care cuz dorg punya utak dorg sendiri urus kn diri dorg. but i think now i should care about brunei future. not just serving your country at war or jadi pegawai kerajaan jadi pekerja saja. not like jadi menteri to help change every which dari dulu tani liat menteri nada buat apa2 yg bagus banar. and even sultan ckp mcm robot. but i wanna do something that i dont have to wait for menteri or kerajaan to say green light. when you want to help people you dont need permission from orang atasan tuk approve which sometime will take alot of time and sometime never gonna happen until they see brunei semakin rusak. haha apa kan ku ckp ani? wah not good. but yea. my uncle said to me in the future brunei will be floating. well only i have the full meaning pulang apa yg ia sampai kn masa atu.. hehe but i see it udah sikit demi sikit. and im so wanna change it when im still alife i dont want to see that in my life time. myb after i die den bulih lah.

ok banyak nonsense

anyway. sekali td aku keraja lapas main bola sama kawan ku d mentiri. sekali overtime tia jua sampai kul 4 pagi baru balik rumah.. sakit kepala sakit badan sakit kaki. and so nalih banar kan mampus udah. and masih jua membuat blog.

well banar nya im happy when my love tagur d chat.

i miss her so bad. i wish she still mine. no matter where i go she always in my head. in my heart. and i wish she feel the same way too. i keep on wonder day by day. until myb the clear answer reveal so i stop wondering. do i still have chances to win her love back? this is always my question everyday...

i wanna say sorry to her. i love her i miss her i care about her. fakhri sayang sayang.

and

im stupid

my emotion tonight

2012-01-29T07:38:00.000-08:00

before i sleep.. this song come into my mind. emotion by destiny's child.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLNMbDDzwD8

this song speak all for my feeling and emotion. hmmm i miss her.

im stupid

6hr sleep

2012-01-29T03:11:00.000-08:00

gila aku tetidur for 6hr dari kul 12 labih sampai kul 7mlm. gila. sandi. missed ku tournoment bolaaaaaa umban ke 10 pin aka bowling buduh. now i officially everytime thinking about bowling i get hurt. well well well skip. i need to go shower. gila bebau pulang. masam. ani wanna go fucking jalan2 buat bodoh. this is my weekend penuh dengan bosan. tidur on sunday afternoon. buduh.

bah i fuck off dulu

im stupid

jogging for fatsss

2012-01-28T19:42:00.000-08:00

joggin joggin joggin. im fat and i know it. joggin d tasik lama. was jalan2 saja lah. nada lari2 ambil stamina dulu. pasal badan barat satu. dua nda balance mcm kn tumbang saja. tiga kaki kancang bila naik tangga and bukit. empat ampus melanda. kelima lalah hantap. keenam aku rindu my love. ketujuh aku buduh. kelapan aku lampuh. kesembilan aku buduh lagi. kesepuluh jubur ku basar hantap. bida wah. atu kali yg membuat nya aku barat atu. kesebalas angin banyak keluar tadi dari dua lobang. lobang jubur sama mulut haha.. tarap and kantut. and den den den ke duabelas aku halum tidur dari kelmarin. ke tigabalas aku makan indomee sejam before jogging and cakoi. ke empat balas. membalas pantun saja. ke lima balas. nada urg membalas. ke enam balasan. aku rindu ex girl ku. ke tujuh balas. aku rindu ia sepanjang ku pijak kaki d tasik lama atu. dari dulu sampai sekarang. ke lapan balas aku antah lah bosan masa ani lamah kan tidur and malas jua ku tidur. kn bejalan ku eh bosan ku d rumah. and and aku bosan aku bosan aku buduh aku bosan. aku mental aku gila.

bila tah kn turun ni berat badan ani. aiyoyo.

im stupid

football

2012-01-28T03:39:00.000-08:00

football tonight with the lads. football is for loners like me. everyweeked never missed to watch football because i got no other things to do. such a boring life for now. i need to change my life style soon. hopefully in 3 month time i wanna go away from brunei. wanna fly away for a year or 2. i feel so lonely. so lonely im on my own now.. so lonely. mcm lagu c akon.

i miss my love girl. but my oppurtunity close and my life getting worst ever since my got back to brunei last year. well. i had happy moment. but long run only pain hurt and desaster made by me myself and i. because im stupid. im hoping that i never see this kind of life again. i wanna have better life. i wanna go somewhere else 1st and by the time i comeback to brunei i a change man. totally change. new friends. no one will know me. only my family know me. hmmm 10 year ? 10 year i go run away and maybe people will forget about me. no more old friends. old history left behind the pain the hurt. i wanna left behind. i wanna start my life over. well 10 year can be done like that i guess?

but but is it a good idea to leave all my past behind me? my family? my love already gone. my friends? well let see how it gonna be in 3 months time. if its happen its happen. if not wait for next year lah...

panjang udah ni.. to much stupid idea.

im stupid

going crazy

2012-01-28T03:35:00.000-08:00

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tarik nafas

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why the fuck am i so stupid. damn. i feel loser start kickin in myself.

im stupid

her sweet sweet thang

2012-01-28T02:23:00.000-08:00

I miss the girl i love. how she treat me before was so so so sweet. and i wasted.

what the fuck. im stupid

i miss her

2012-01-27T00:31:00.000-08:00

hmmm semua sudah berakhir bila dia tinggal kan aku. sekarang aku tunggang tebalik kerana merindui nya. rindu rindu rindu aku sangat merindu kan nya. sungguh aku rindu rindu rindu. hai. aku hanya boleh luah kan isi hati d blog ani saja. nada org dgn ku kn ckp sal ani.. jadi loner ku kali ani. merasa tia ku.. haha padan muka ku siapa suruh buduh... hai ya.. apa yang aku harus buat.. owh bulan katakan pada ku. apa pernawar hati yang sedang merindui kekasih yang telah pergi. hai ya hai ya.. mcm apakah. stupid eh.

when oppurtunity close forever.

2012-01-26T21:58:00.000-08:00

♥

what if your ex says this to you..

Hi, how are you?

- im doing alright.

Hey you wanna go to the mall?

- no, inda mau.

I LOVE U.

- inda salah dangar kah tu? (tamparan banar adang2 eh)

Do you want some cookies?

- no, thank you i can baked my own cookies.

Can you take me a picture?

- Sorry ah aku busy.

Would you help me with my homework?

- i dont think so, oh! that lesbo seems free go ask her.

Here's my gift to you?

- For what? take it back i wont accept it.

Let's us just be friends

- what? friends? HAHA i have many friends sudah.

Do you want me to buy you an ipod?

- inda payah, thank you.

Let watch a movie together

- heck no!

Hi baby

- oh hi jerk!

You're still gorgeous

- sudah atu haha.

i still LOVE you

- no turning back.

Can i visit your house?

- BIG NO!

Do you love me?
not anymore.

this is what she said to her ex. that including me. so i feel there is no room for me anymore. hmmm. im sorry for all the things that i've done.

hati yg terluka

2012-01-26T11:12:00.001-08:00

ku akui kelemahan diri, insafi kekurangan ini, ku kesali kejahilan ku. ku telah pun merasakan derita jiwa dan perasaan. sungguh pedih dan memalukan. sungguh sedih mengenang kembali dosa2 yg telah ku buat kepada nya. apa daya ku lagi. takdir tuhan mempertemukan kami dan takdir tuhan juga memisahkan kami. aku berharap jgn lah dipisah kan kami. aku memang lemah.

the one that got away :(

2012-01-26T03:20:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=um6nhnnuyts&feature=youtu.be

i miss her. im stupid.

fault on me

2012-01-25T21:22:00.000-08:00

why am i so stupid. now i only can take the hard hit on the face. i can't fight it. i don't know how to fight it. its my fault i can't fight it. my heart beat so fast i think i wanna die now. hope i die soon so this all over and don't have to see what happen next so it not hurt so much. im a coward. shame on myself. i failed myself.

I'm sorry to the family i fail to treat her well. im so ashamed. i don't know what to do anymore. i wanna say it in person but i can't. i made people mad, sad, disappointed. such a shame on me.

dosa nya aku.

im weak im fool

2012-01-25T19:04:00.000-08:00

ya allah. aku lemah. aku tak tahu apa lagi yg patut aku buat. aku memang bodoh lagi hina.

semoga diri nya berbahagia sentiasa.

stupid moves and stupid me

2012-01-24T16:08:00.000-08:00

i never wanted this to happened. i never wanted bad things happened in my life. But bad things keep coming into my life. I guess that what they called asam garam dunia. man i fucked up my life. I made my love one leave me because of my stupidity. who to blame? ofcos its me. But how should i react? i read alot of motivation book but their no used anymore at this time cuz i fucked up everything. stupid move i made made me this fool person. im lost in the love world. they never teach at school and even my parent never teach me this kind of knowledge. i need to learn more.

I have no idea where to start and where to learn? Maybe my stupidity can not be change?

well well well im so fucked up. i hate myself. The special one left me. my mistake hurts me. my social life gone. my friends become smaller in value. my enemy become large in value. well now life hit me hard. making me weaker and weaker everyday. I don't know how to get back up now. maybe someone out there will pick me back up cuz im losing my way in a split second. and its all my selfstupid. who to blame who to blame? no one but me.

fucking idiot me. I wanna say sorry to my love who i did wrong and mistreat her so badly. well i know its to late to tell her all this. such a fool of me why i did not realize from the beginning stupid man. I hope she going to have a great life after this without me with my stupidity.

I now sorry will not heal your wounded heart. such a fool of me. so so so dumb do dumb do dumb do dumb me. what im going to do now? im going crazy thinking about this. well thinking pun nda guna cuz my brain is like tin kosong. stupid. di katok bebunyi bising but no valuable point.

this is from my heart. i dont know if my heart also stupid like my brain. semoga allah lindungi kamu.. semoga berbahagia di masa akan datang

sincerely dumb head amin fakhri

shit mood

2012-01-09T09:37:00.000-08:00

fucking fuck im fucking sick and fuck you. wait till i get green light from boss to start training. and i kill who ever i fucking hate. mother fucker. fucking wanker. your next. and who ever make fun of me. you all die. just wait next few month and your all sure be dead fucker. maybe im weak now but just wait or run away fucker. if you have the chance now this is the time to kill me fucker before its to late. ill ruin your whole family. not going to leave one alife fucking fuck. thats so fucking disrespectful. just wait fucker. you wanna find me i live in kg bunut. and if im not home ill be in pantai jerudong. just try to kill me first. im not hiding you fucker. this is a warning. ill tell you where i am and if you wanna kill me find me 1st before i find you pussy. ugly fucker. wrong move fucker. maybe your happy now get what you wanted. but thats not for long. cuz youll be dead soon. i dont fucking care if i go to prison now or deported. aslong im happy killing all you fucker.

sakit

2012-01-09T09:32:00.001-08:00

aduh.. sakit tu hantap. buduh eh

2012-01-08T21:56:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI7S7vaBT4I

maaf telah membuat mu terluka, maaf telah membuat mu menanggis. im so sorry. maaf kerana menipu. maaf kerana selfish. maaf kerana ego. maaf kerana tidak pandai mencintaimu. maaf kerana telalu lama untuk aku realize semua ani. maaf kerana tidak memahami isi hati mu yang tulus mencintaiku. maaf sungguh aku bodoh terhadap mu.

sunday

2012-01-08T10:38:00.000-08:00

hati ku resah gelisah. im tired already after along day. missing someone which is not mine anymore. feel happy and enjoy with the guys today. deep inside is feeling sad. well thats my problem i guess. i hardly express my sad feeling to anyone. i only express the happy part. The last time i cried infront of people telling my sad feeling deep story was way ages. The person once my love one. well i almost cried infront of my two bestfriend but i don't have the courage to cry infront of them. they know im sad but its so hard for me to let it go crying infront of people. well i used to be happy when people around me. I always put my smile even when my heart is sad. I always tot that people don't need to listen to my sad story, cuz i think they only want happy. and i noe in this world im not the only one have problem and sad story. all human do have their own problem. thats why i try to be happy to all people all the time cuz i tot its wrong to share my sad story. thats the 1st time i have the courage to tell real sad story to my two bestfriend i guess. and now its my second time writing on this blog about my sad feelin. im lonely and im tired. wishing that person was here. well i really don't know what the right things to say or do now. i lost the best person in my life. who care for me alot and love me alot. but went away.

im feelin like a stupid shit right now. i hope that one day she will be happy again. i feeling like screaming out loud and cry. now nda dapat pasal ada urg tidur.

sesungguh nya allah maha mengetahui. subahanallah kenapa ku buat terlalu banyak bersalah sehingga orang terluka. bodoh sungguh.

hmmm... i went to pantai muara with my group and had bbq there and sing alot of cover and most of the cover made me sad bcoz of lyric nya.. sakit hantap but well buduh ku sendiri jua.. well lapas atu i play golf d rba. awal2 nyaman my swing and ball naik saja all the time until sad mood strike me again and all my ball start nda menantu sampai kan kana kepala urang sebalah.. urg tuha lagi tu. sekali my hand start blister balik. and my hits semua nda lurus my hand my position my kaki and my mind. hilang focus habis. but still i put smile infront of my friends cuz they dont know deep inside me im sad.. well i noe my friends pun sad jua sal hal dorg i noe hal dorg pulang they told me abit. well now im really weak. i tell my story here. i let go my ego here. i dont noe what to say lagi. my brain weak now. i wanna go sleep and sleep saja.

hope that that person be happy soon. i miss her so bad i wanna go cry before i go to sleep.
im a dumb head.

when stupid takes over

2012-01-06T23:27:00.000-08:00

selama 3 hari berturut2 menangis kerana kebodohan sendiri.. sesungguh nya aku bodoh..

sebodoh mana orang. bodoh aku sangat menyakitkan. aku telah pun menyakit kan hati orang lain kerana kebodohan ku. sekarang hati ku telah pun merasa kesakitan tetapi kesakitan hati ku tak setanding orang yg telah ku sakiti.. setelah bekurun lama nya baru ku menyedari bahwa yang ku buat telah menyakit kan hati orang lain. itu sebab nya aku bodoh. sungguh bodoh. Baru aku sedari selama ini kesalahan ku.. aku memang bodoh. dari dulu hingga kini selalu dipesan dibagi pelbagai amaran tetapi aku tetap tidak peduli. tidak mahu mendengar. ego ku telampau kuat and tinggi. ini lah dinama kan bodoh sendiri. tidak mau mendengar nasihat. aku memang bodoh. menangis kerana kebodohan ku ada kah itu betul? aku hanya mampu menangis sekarang. kesalahan ku telalu besar untuk ku mengubah nya. adakah aku dapat memperbaikinya? sungguh ku malu dengan diri ku yang sungguh bodoh.

aku tak tahu apa yang dapat aku buat lagi. aku cuba dapat menangis dan berdoa semoga orang yang ku sakiti selama ini dapat berbahagia selepas ini. aku ingin kn diberi kesempatan untuk membuat kebaikan lagi kepadanya. menebus dosa ku yang dulu telah banyak membuat dia teluka. aku telah merasa betapa sakit nya hati bila terluka dan aku amat menyesal. semua ini kerana tingkah laku ku yang bodoh dan hina. aku memang lemah. aku memang jahil. aku memang bodoh. tak pernah mengenang budi nya. tak pernah berterima kasih kepadanya. tak pernah befikir yang aku sebenar nya salah. bodoh ku telah menyakit kan diri nya dan diri ku. semoga kesakitan diri nya akan pulih.

semua yang bodoh aku lakukan terhadap nya aku berharap tidak akan berulang lagi. di buta kan mata dan telinga untuk ku menyedari kesalahan ku. itu kerna kebodohan ku. aku sungguh ego tidak mahu mengakui kesalahan ku dahulu. kini baru ku sedar. sudah telambat bagi ku. aku tak tahu apa yang aku patut buat lagi.

semoga kau akan berbahagia. aku meminta maaf. tulus iklas ku berdoa kau berbahagia.
ingin ku mengucapkan terima kasih atas segala yang kau laku kan kepada ku. kebodohan ku menyebab kan kau berubah. terima kasih atas ketabahan mu melayan diri ku yang bodoh, hina dan tidak berakal. terima kasih kerana bersabar dan selalu mendoakan agar aku berubah. sekarang baru ku sedari semula. walaupun tangisan ku tiada beguna bagi mu lagi tetapi ku berharap walaupun kau tidak mau memaafkan ku, harapanan ku semoga kau berbahagia semua seperti dulu walaupun tampa ku. sinaran mu yang menjadi gelap kerana ku. semoga ia besinar kembali.

mohon maaf dari ku tulus iklas.

Amin Fakhri

When miss strike me..

2009-11-30T08:13:00.000-08:00

Your the best thing that ever happened to me ;) iloveyou♥

I love you, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.

Life

2009-11-17T04:14:00.000-08:00

Life?
What is life?
How should life be?
When should we end life?

My answer to all this is very simple. I do not know.
lazy minded like me should not been asked questions like this at the moment because right now I have no life at all and my mind already tired and really need long vacation.

Living my life at the moment is so tiring and boring. The things that i did are the things that I don't really want. Everyday I woke up and go to work for what? Money can not bring back the life that I missed for all this time. Is the priceless life that i missed being better if I spend it with my family and my friends? Am I making a huge mistake for choosing this path? I could see where I am in the future. Have there be another option for me to live my life? At the moment i just can't think straight. I was away for so long that I just want to go home.

Sure that people said things in the past will be history of your life, but would it be better if your history is full of interesting story that one day you having a coffee and smoked red Marlboro with your friends or family, that great history of yours be share with them. That kind of life sound so good to be true for me.

So should i give up my life? Should I let my life be as it was until the end?
The answer will be No Bloody Chance!

As long as you still breathing, you still have the chance to change your life. Your history will be from nothing to an adventure of your meaningful life. You only have to find other options and take every opportunity that is in front of you.

What? What? What?
What I really want is to be free. Free from everything, go anywhere I really want at anytime, do anything, get everything that I really dream and no one could stop me from doing it. Filling my life with great adventures and mind free.

The journey for achieving the goal is still way far and I have 4 years of sentences to be done but nevertheless I preparing myself for the years to come and learning everything that I could for the future plan. Set of mind is the main key to success and mentality to accept what’s coming in the future. List of Dreams I wrote on the book of dreams, to make sure that the dreams achievable I try to find the solution by saying "how".

To tell you the story of the power of the word "How" is very long. So short story, by asking your self how your brain will be active to finding the answer and you can find the answer everywhere and never stop looking for the answer. You always know that our friends will be there for you to give you the answer. What I mean by our friends is the Books. Always remember that books always are our friends and they can lead us to the light of life but you the one who make the choice.

Learning is not to be stop. Keep on learning and educating yourself, it is a very good investment for our own.

Robert Kiyosaki Said "you become what you study"

So, if you want to become something you study what you want to become.

That’s why I'm doing it. That’s why you should too.

Amin Fakhri :D

perjalanan ku dari newcastle ke brunei

2009-07-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

semalam aku bermimpi.. sepi bersama ku.. bulan dan bintang hilang begitu.. siang yg bersinar menjadi gelap dan hujan ribut taufan and etc menlanda.. apa lagi ah? hmm..

aku ada cita.. kamu misti baca.. cita ku bermula.. di sebuah tempat.. jauh dari keluarga.. kerinduan bertemu keboringan.. letih kerana menunggu.. sasak kerana resah.. setiap langkah ku.. bermula dari situ.. hingga ku pulang.. tanah air ku.. habislah rasa risau.. dihati sungguh lega.. bantal and selimut.. jamban dan kereta.. semua milik ku.. badan yg letih.. fikiran tak tentu.. hilang sekelip mata.. well bukan lah sekajap banar.. haha..

anyway.. cita nya cani.. lapas ku exam tarus ku terabang k london.. sekali.. d london patut nya tidur d hotel tapi nda jadi pasal nya bas k hotel ku nda ku tahu mana satu.. sekali tawaf tah ku d airport heathrow nda ku tahu brapa kali.. mun ku tawaf d mekah arah kaabah dapat jua ku pahala.. wahaha ani nda.. sekali kan udah ku boring sama galih nda cukup tidur.. tidur tah ku d lantai airport ah.. sejam pulang saja.. sekali kn.. udah ku bagun ramai tahu urg meliat aku, gila basar banar kah guruh ku atu ( excen ku) udah ku bagun tarus ku k tempat checkin lah.. ada udah urg beatur kul 4.30 pagi atu gila kali.. whahaha sekali.. dpt tah ku masih arah menunggu kapal terbang.. minum starbuck lah.. mana bulih tinggal.. lapas atu makan cake lah starbuck jua.. sal tuk makan ubat lapas atu.. bang farid yg suruh makan ubat atu.. bang farid cakap ubat atu tuk suhu badan nda panas takut kena tahan d dubai.. sekali kn.. ku makan lah.. nya urg nya ckp urg tuha2 ani patut d dangar.. wahaha ada baik nya tuu.. iatah ku makan kan ubat ah sebelum naik kapal terbang..

sekali udah ku di kapal terbang gatal2 kan gigi sama mata ku.. ku gusuk2 mata ku( marah gfku ni lau ia membaca hehe :p jgn marah sayang :D ) sekali kan.. lapas ku gusuk banar2 nyaman wah mengusuk mata ani.. sekali galih tah ku mengusuk mata ah.. ku bawa tdur kn.. sekali lapas ku bagun 4 jam kemudian kan.. payah kn ku buka mata ku kn.. sepet wah.. alah cina sepet nya.. haha sekali k jamban ku cuci muha.. sekali ku liat kn arah ceramin.. beteriak ku kan.. ada apa nah? hehe cicak.. whaaha nada lah.. bangkak kn mata ku. haha sekali lapas bangkak atu ku panggil stewardess ani.. alai boi.. (ahmm syg jgn marah lagi hehe ) hehe nda pulang ku nampak banar nya.. haha mata ku sepet.. sekali dorg bagi ice lah suruh taruh arah mata ku.. haha.. selama 2 jam ku taruh ice ada lah perubahan makin baik mata ku.. sekali dorg suruh aku jumpa doctor d dubai.. turun tah ku d dubai.. bejumpa doctor.. sekali nya pasal apa ko bangkak ani.. aku ckp mata ku bangkak pasal liat stewardess lawa d kapal RBA.. sal kan gf ku mana suruh aku liat bini2 lain iatah ia baca2i udah mata ku supaya bangkak lau gatal mataku kn meliat bini2 lain.. haha sekali nya doctor iatah ko atu luan kn begatal.. baru ko tahu.. cilaka punya doctor.. cuba tah bagi ubat ah.. ani mengucap pulang ia.. haha (excen ku lagi) cita banar nya cani..

sekali kn ku gthu doctor yang aku makan ubat yg bang farid bagi.. ia ckp supaya nda kena tahan d dubai.. hehe nah kena medical attention pulang brada.. apa sal 2 brada? cana 2? haha sekali nya doctor atu.. ko ani.. kenapa ko dgr ckp abang farid mu.. ani ubat urg tuha2 ni.. ko muda masih.. handsome lagi.. haha perasan aku ah.. sekali nya doctor atu.. eh ko ani suka2 saja makan ubat.. mcm makan gula2.. cana tah jua.. bentuk mcm gula2.. apa lagi talan lah.. haha..

yg banar nya doctor atu ckp ko ada alergic makan ubat ani.. haha jgn tah watir sehat ko masih.. paksa ku bagi ko injection ni.. alah.. iatah kena bagi injection d jubur ku sama tangan ku.. haha sakit boi.. haha.. sekali kn.. lapas tah ku.. balik ku k brunei.. haha

sampai ku d brunei dorg bapa sama babu ambil sama adik ku c ismail.. udah ku gthu no kanak2 d airport.. majal jua masih.. minta marahi.. haha.. dan ada jua urg yg minta marahi jua seperti c gbos bulah mahmud azmi fish.. udah ku gthu jgn dtg masih jua dorg dtg k airport.. mun sakit cana brada? haha thanks anyway brada..

sekali balik ku rumah.. banar nya hajat nda mau tidur tunggu sampai malam.. tapi lapas ku makan tengah hari sama family.. ampai2 ku kn d bilik bapa.. nda lagi tebangun.. dari kul satu sampai 10 malam.. haha gila.. ubat kena inject atu udah tah sakit.. buat ku tidur panjang lagi 2.. haha

sekali moral of the story kan.. abang farid kan tulung aku supaya nda kana suhu badan panas d dubai takut kena tahan.. sekali nah.. kena suruh jumpa doctor mata bangkak.. haha sikit g tinggal d dubai.. haha.. baik jua alergic saja.. nada serious.. haha

atu saja lah... bukan ku kn salah kn abang farid membagi ubat atu banar nya cita ani.. aku kn becerita saja.. hehe p abang farid misti baca ni.. haha...

in the end

aku sampai brunei dengan selamat.. wahahahha..

happy ku.. mcm apa kah.. makan murtabak lah selabrate..

gila.. pesta murtabak..

abang c mahmud punya murtabak.. haha jgn marah mud

sekian terima kasih..

lupa kunci

2009-04-22T16:15:00.000-07:00

dear people

Amin fakhri kn becerita pasal ia lupa kunci nya.

tadi aku pergi beria kn d jamban arah hall den aku terus lah mandi malam. sekali batah ku d jamban gusuk2 segala daki ku nda g ku ingau kn barang lain. air panas jatuh dri atas. wah indah rasa nya. nyaman bah. sekali kn lapas ku abis mandi ah. ku ambil tuala ku sama segala kunci ku kn fikirku ku bawa udah kunci bilik ku. rupanya salah kunci. haha.. paksa tah ku bejln arah security pakai boxer sama baju tshirt ku sama selipar jamban ksana sama tuala d atas kepala ku.. haha. mcm serius ku bejalan atu urg meliat aku pun aku buat2 cool saja lah.. haha nda kali dorg pernah liat c awang basar hahaha ;p perasan banar aku ani. haha. anyway. paksa tah ku bayar lagi 20p ni.. apa lah nasib ku.. wahaha..

MCM APAKAH.. haha

DAMAM

2009-04-22T14:43:00.000-07:00

aku DAMAM...

aku PACAH...

Aku damam aku pacah.. wahaha payah wah ku kn ketawa lau damam ani sakit rasa nya nda ketawa ani. wahahhaha gila kali 3 hari tak selira makan.

MACAM APAKAH.. WAHAHAHA

any hoo.. now im feeling bettter and thanks to all my friends yang jaga aku i love you all. sorry nda sabut nama kamu sal aku malas. ramai wah kamu atu. mcm sekampung ada jua. p kan kamu tahu wah kamu sapa. kamu lagi jenis perasan urg nya, pandai2 lah kamu perasan. hahaha

p banar ni.. serius shit ni ku gthu.. thanks kamu semua nanti ku masak kn tuk kamu.

apa lagi kn ku gthu ah.. aku boring nada mood ku kn buat kaja ah. gila.. sakit g parut ku kn beria.

Hari bersama sama

2009-02-19T14:29:00.000-08:00

mula-mula masuk

lapasa atu kena bagi...

cookie merah... yea. lapasa atu kami kena sediakn makanan enak.. dimsam baby dimsam

eh sikit lagi lupa. c deco punya dessert ni. marah karang ia lau nda di sabut ia punya.

Ani nah gambar pemenang malam ani bersama dengan hakim2 nya.. sapa pandai mengampu arah hakim dua urg sebalah kiri dan kanan manang lah tu.. bagi pehak laki2 c Azam manang tahniah kepada Azam dan bagi pihak perempuan dimenangi oleh Zam. tahniah jua kepada dua2 pemenang terus kan lagi perjuangan itu. hingga jumpa lagi d masa hadapan..

ah ani c BA baca doa sebelum makan.. bagus2

bergambar mesra dengan abang farid dan abang zizan. manisnya senyuman.. kenyang lah tu.

bersama abang Azam, aku patut bebanga dapat bergambar dengan salah seorang pemenang malam itu. hehe

bersama abang BOB

bermain guitar menghiburkan semua dan memeriah kn lagi suasana. sing with me people :)

buuuu.. tengok anak babu mcm artis udah kn? hehe :p

BA sedih kerna terlupa membawa gigi palsu nya.. lain kali!!! haha

Buuuu. anak babu menyanyi ni masa ani. hehe

bergambar ramai dengan semua laki di sana... sapa bekenan tunjuk saja.

ini bahagia perempuan pulak begambar. so ada yang bekenan? haha maybe not lah ah. semua kena kebas dah lah. haha

freestyle for the guys.. come on lah.. apa bende 2?

ni gambar, kami pandai posing ah... mcm artis? boyband? canggih

tengok tengok anak babu segak tak? hehe

bersama Zizan

boleh masuk kan jadi cover magazine? haha

awu sikit lagi lupa.. banar nya kediaku manang malam atu. dua2 bahagian.. bahagian laki2 sama bini2 aku mengambil. p aku bagi chan kesian dorang nda dpt hadiah so bagi arah 2nd place laki2 dan bini2 lah.. haha

bersama nawi dan bob..

sekian tamat lah sudah gambar ku... terima kasih kerana meluangkn masa meliat :)

Damai

Anak babu handsome?

Boyfriend Ili handsome?

hehehe kurus udah sikit ni..

kami jln2 d newcastle

2009-01-31T23:25:00.000-08:00

anni awal2 kn bejalan menunggu lagi orang di dalam kan siap2 dulu.. apa lagi sigup lah haha

nah bejalan jua kami akhri nya. sekali tejumpa orang putih kan ikut begambar jua dorang ani.

Boi and Bob

newcastle oficial store. di dalam ani ada tedapat macam2 barang newcastle.. banar nda bah ku menipu.

muka orang lapar ni.. on the way to Basha.

lawa ah begambar sini ani.. paling lawa aku lah.

cuba tengok anak babu ah.. pandai ia tunggang tebalik hehe

stunt?

you.. i know where you live..

nah akhri nya bejumpa makanan jua kami.. yea..

tujuan kami bejalan ani untuk mencari ketenangan lapas exam.

nah sampai sini saja dulu.. penamat cerita ku..

sampai jumpa lagi.. dimasa hadapan...

Damai

?

2009-01-25T18:18:00.000-08:00

ada urg atu put ia punya nick 'Dont act like a bitch'.. i wonder sapa kah itu? hehe

japan boi

2008-11-25T14:29:00.000-08:00

Japan japan japan!!!! chayo.

banyak barang siuk2 terdapat d Japan seperti perempuan nya:) cute2 di sana.. banar inda bah ku menipu. kalau laki2 setuju degan ku ni. yg perempuan nya nda kali hehe kan kan kan.

ma girlfriend

2008-11-25T00:31:00.001-08:00

what? what you looking for?

lickkkk like a lolipop.. licckk like a lolipop... shorty wanna touch.. bottles in the club..

call call me so i can give it for u... hummm call call me so i can do it for u.. huhuhuh

what up people and stranger.. nigga wanna do what? hell ya what..

1 more month.. insyallllah going home people. get ready for the king. understanD?
hmm.. now we on the way to japan and you know what? my life your entertainment, your watch me singing.. you know i can be somewhere cool and i can make a killer move hey.. believe when i say i want it i get it.. i did what i like and i know better what u need.. this is how i am..

dont expect something im not..i cant be fake.. i walk because i was i talk because i.. just because u amused me.. hmm.. couple of rice and ayam make me full. i promise im gonna keep it all night long. i mean.. is this we shud do? seeds became plant, boys become man.

mama try to told me amin amin.. slow it down.. you gonna lose your best thing if u keep fool around. ur a man and u shud do what man do.. your the best mama.

:)

ili nadzirah.. your ma best thing and now i feel how much i miss you. can you help me? i felt on hard time.. i dont wanna die. day after day people walk by. i cant stand right.

mama also said work for love.. i will i will work for love... i do anything for love.. i will i will i will work for love overtime.. i will work for love

i cant even lie. she all i got. she do alittle dance. she like ma smile. she keep it hot and she do anything that i like.. thats ma girlfriend thats ma girlfriend thats ma girlfriend.. all mine all mine.. thats ma girlfriend yep. people might hate us but thats ma baby thats ma girl.. so that mad at us.. we keep a good laugh and love.. all mine all mine shorty give me all the time. thats ma girlfriend.

:D

Hari jumat 17th oct 2008

2008-10-18T00:36:00.000-07:00

damn damn.. what a day. galih jua ah cani ani ah. sleep late and work early morning, hmm. galih eh ah.. td patang lagi k gym kn menguruskn badan ku ani. haha kn hidup eh cani ani. byk wah udah lamak menjadi k badan. wahaha knapa kah ya. aku misti kurus kn. berusaha.
iatah kn masa ku d gym ah, nah datang tia c kaling atu lagi menyuruh aku buat kaja. kan hidup tah banar nda pandai liat urg besanang wah c kaling ah sial. wahaha

mati rasis. wahaha kaling tah banar. pastu gue mandi lapas gym den dinner, dinner lagi byk makan 2. mna kn mau kurus 2 ah. makanan nya nyaman2 wah mana tahan. hehe nw ma parut pun melabu sikit nya. paksa tah k gym lagi ni esk. misti kurus kn badan tuk perempuan ku tercinta Ili nadzirah. :)

ah.. atu ja kali eh. nw kn main Age of empire dulu. damn krg g ada party ni misti dtg. makan lagi ni. damn.. lampuh ni lagi. wahaha. p nda papa rezeki wah alhamdullillah.

bah damai~

hmm... galih ku cani ani eh.. kaling tah banar

2008-10-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

what? what you looking for?
hmmm.. kn mati.. kaja ku esk lagi.. bila tah kn cuti ah? galih ku cani ani.. hahaha padan muka ku.. sapa suruh kaja. wahaha.. damn eh ah.. kena marah saja ku eh ulih kaling ah.. baie.. mentang2 ia nda balik aku d marahi nya.. padan tah kaling banar.. wahaha..

apa kn ku buat ah.. aaaaaaaaa... masa atu kami raya.. raya tia.. haha 1st day raya kami kaja d JApan.. finishing with cargo.. kn hidup eh. n c kaling atu g marah2 gnya kaja nya. menyamal saja kaja nya, nada kaja lain wah ia ah. mcm kanak2. umur udah bulih mati p ulah mcm bru kn hidup sadang2 eh ah. nada sadar diri wah kaling masa ani. wahaha.. sory kaling2 seluruh dunia. kamu kaling cana tah jua.

apa lagi kn ku buat ah? gila byk udah dusa ku mengucap kaling saja. kepada urg yg membaca ani aku harap maaf kn aku sal kamu pun bedusa kerana aku.. sory2 hahaha

bah Damai:)

Budak Samseng Maktab Duli?

2008-09-14T10:14:00.001-07:00

here here boys.
Look at the picture. There shamie, Hussin with a gangster look, Gg, ME (how handsome am I when I put that smile?=p), Bullah and Fish with his evil smile and his magic payung.
where were we at that time? hmm i can't remember but it was last year and there was an event happened and it was so panas and and what mey?... and it was getting panas and panas and more people joining in the photo and as the day getting hotter and hotter all the faces become marung and you can see me no keradud on ma dahi but it was rely stressful as i remember and i was not happy.
say hello to the far east side mate.

School trip with Geo class

2008-09-08T23:13:00.000-07:00

hmmm...

take a good look of me. DO I look cool on that picture?
As you can see there's Arif(left) and next to him Ray then c Pacah, far back Sephy, Azmi pandai and Me and Azmi pacah.

We had this school trip to Dadap with the geo class last year and it was fun. Our guide teacher was Mr Kah(which was ma best teacher ever i think so) and i miss the fun with them lot.

o well that all folks... cheers

The story of 'Bantal Buruk'

2008-09-08T14:52:00.001-07:00

the story goes like.....

There was this one girl who has a dream to become a ponytail.. and then one day she woke up in a bad bad weather condition and there she was sitting in the conner of her room crying and crying and keep on crying until suddenly a guy came and give her that stinky little pillow and she called it 'Bantal Buruk'..

Everyday and everywhere she carry it with her heart and her life was on the line. She never thought that one day when she shows it to her boyfriend that her boyfriend would like it. So one day when her boyfriend arrived at her house and was waiting for her to get change for going to the movie called Death race and the boyfriend went to her room and straight to her 'Bantal Buruk' and hug it so tight and smells the stinky smells(i mean harum) of the 'Bantal Buruk' and he just fainted to the ground and felt asleep for a few moment of his life.

After she get ready and her bestfriend also ready for countinue with there life story, she woke the Buncit boyfriend to drive them to the empire county club to watch movie there mey. So the boyfriend woke up with a smile on his face to see her beautiful girlfriend was still alive after ages live her life with that 'Bantal Buruk'. He was so thankful to god who still love his girlfriend for making her still alive and health and cute and beautiful and i love her.. hehe

So they went to the movie and there they was with popcorn and bugers on there hands and greentea and spirt on there shoulder and emotionally watched the movie where she was so in love with the hero girl charater and then the girl was changing her dream from becoming ponytail to a hero girl on the death race movie. She wanted to be like her in everything and the guy just don't know why she wanted it so badly to changed her dream.

The movie ended so they went out of the cinema and saw the new White Nissan G-TR R35 (damn that's hot) and the boyfriend was so jelous that he can't afford to buy the world fastest car at that time... So they went to the car and the boyfriend drived the corolla 2.0 as fast as he can (like 100KM/h saja paling laju ia bulih sal gf nya marah haha..) and was dreaming of driving the new G-TR R35. Damn.

After droped the girl bestfriend in nowhere, they both went to her house and sleep and at that moment the girl feeling about her boyfriend was totally changed because she used to sleep with her 'Bantal Buruk' but that day was diffrent and she hate it so much because her boyfriend was holding the 'Bantal buruk' all night that she can't even smells the 'bantal buruk' smells.

Her heart was crash into small bits of her heart and the story end just like that. No happy or sad ending to this story becuase the story just started. so stay tune in to ma blog channel ok.

Thanks to all the readers and god bless you all.

The moral of this story was that emm... there no moral to this story.

I gess that all for now folk..

me love ma girlfriend Ili Nadzirah.

A new begining

2008-09-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

Here we go...

My life changed when she became my lovely girlfriend. hmm..

yea that's right. Usually I went to bed at 12 and when she came to my life i slept at 3 or sometimes 4.

what a big change for me huh..

We together on the 31th of july 2008 hehe.. it was ages ago right?

As you can see in this picture there me, the girl and Mamad.

Mamad was our personal camera man. Isn't it great to have your own personal camera man.

Mamad was trained from the best of the best camera man in town yet he failed to show his talent to the world because all the pictures of us that he took was blur and only this one that just nice and his in it. Damn mad, shame on you mad shame on you.

Cute kan bini2 atu... and her name is Ili Nadzirah.. =D

... and here are ma picture with ma personal camera man. A great young talent personal camera man shoundn't be in the picture when the master was on the date with his girlfriend but look at him? his there on the picture, smiling and god knows what i was thinking at that time and also at this moment when i wrote this blog.

dear reader, take a close look on ma personal camera man. Do he look like korean to you?

2008-09-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

hey hey hey...

look at her.. who is she? who is she? who is this beautiful girl?

where is she? where is she? where is she hiding at this time?

Damn girl where you going? hope you notice me watching you walking away from me.

wait for me baby.. im coming.. =D

2008-09-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

what? what you looking for? seems like you wanna do something stupid again.. man.. what's worng with you? Make people worry always..

People gone mad when you did something stupid, so please.. don't make me tell you again..

Step out of there fool.. arrr.. I kick your smelly ass if your not listen to me.. NOW!! damn it.. Allright, I bring the cane..